- Dry Ice: A lump of vaguely smoking ice in a plastic bag. Just add water and you get some very convincing fog! I wouldn't recommend putting it in your cocktail though unless you like the taste of burning. Handle with gloves. - Demon Angel Princess Figure: A collectible figure of Princess Piggles, the popular heroine from "Demon Angel Pretty Pudgy Princess". - Fluffy Socks: You can never have enough. - Swimming Trunks: A colorful pair of men's swimwear. - Jetsons Chewable Vitamins: A balance of daily vitamins and minerals in a child-friendly fruit-flavored tablet. Even here, childproof caps are practically adultproof. - Hat Trick: A snazzy purple top hat. (x2) - Thresh Prince Poster: A large poster for an old TV show starring Troll Will Smith. (x2) - Coconut: It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you, but it refuses to complain… [SNACK?] - Quality Chinchilla Cover: A dark red seat cover. Its refined design is intended for only the most elite clientele. - Blueberry Perfume: Very popular with men these days. But to be honest, although it does attract the ladies, most guys hate the smell... - Gorgeous Breastplate: A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons. - Space-Duck Tape: It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together. - Lemonade Apple: This oblong imposter from New Zealand’s Yummy Fruit Company does not taste like lemonade. It does, however, taste like a regular apple that was accidentally dropped in lemonade. This may come as a disappointment since, with its bright yellow exterior and snappy branding, you’d expect the Lemonade Apple to send you into a citrusy vortex of cockeyed hysterics, forcing your brain to cope with a contradiction of fruity discord that leaves you penniless and naked on a street corner begging pedestrians to slap you back into what you once considered reality. However, maybe we don’t need such extremities in these troubled times. Great for gift bags! [SNACK?] - 100 Bouncy Balls: They're not even in a container--they simply bounce out and all over the floor. Clean up on aisle seven? (x2) - Bojobo Dolls: Made from seeds and coconut fiber, these are used in Buddhist prayers. You determine your wish based on how you position the arms and legs. - Yellow Wig: The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long? - Moustache-inator: When you fire this gun, it gives the target a moustache. What loser would think of an invention like this? - Sports Ball: Great to throw and or bounce or...shoot? (This one is a baseball.) - Toy Car: A small, RC car! Race them around! - Michael's Special Stuff: Refreshing, blue, performance enhan- ...this is just water, isn't it. [DRINK] - Plastic Light Sword: A shitty knockoff lightsaber toy. They didn't even bother making the flashlight part look like anything but a regular flashlight. - Instant Fruit-Flavored Gelatin: Instant fruit-flavored gelatin mix. Just add hot water, stir, and set in the fridge. You can even use cookie cutters to make fun shapes*! *Cookie cutters not included. - Framed Coins: A set of fourteen coins, assumed to be part of a collection! Also makes for a fun investment! - Bon Appetit: A box of ten brand new multicolored dams. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic! - Playstation 4: Contains Pac-Man, The Golf Club Two, Overcooked, and…Mario Kart? What? - Gamer Fuel: It’s.... a salt shaker? Full of salt? - Canadian Flag: O, Canada.... - Emperor's Thong: Designed solely for those in control of their buttocks. For better or worse, it's unisexual. - Ukulele: A small ukulele with flowers printed on the body. It has a pretty good sound, if you've got an ear for that! - GameChild Plus: A small handheld gaming system with ten available games and an ever-dwindling battery life.
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Date: 2023-09-29 03:45 am (UTC)- Dry Ice: A lump of vaguely smoking ice in a plastic bag. Just add water and you get some very convincing fog! I wouldn't recommend putting it in your cocktail though unless you like the taste of burning. Handle with gloves.
- Demon Angel Princess Figure: A collectible figure of Princess Piggles, the popular heroine from "Demon Angel Pretty Pudgy Princess".
- Fluffy Socks: You can never have enough.
- Swimming Trunks: A colorful pair of men's swimwear.
- Jetsons Chewable Vitamins: A balance of daily vitamins and minerals in a child-friendly fruit-flavored tablet. Even here, childproof caps are practically adultproof.
- Hat Trick: A snazzy purple top hat. (x2)
- Thresh Prince Poster: A large poster for an old TV show starring Troll Will Smith. (x2)
- Coconut: It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you, but it refuses to complain… [SNACK?]
- Quality Chinchilla Cover: A dark red seat cover. Its refined design is intended for only the most elite clientele.
- Blueberry Perfume: Very popular with men these days. But to be honest, although it does attract the ladies, most guys hate the smell...
- Gorgeous Breastplate: A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons.
- Space-Duck Tape: It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.
- Lemonade Apple: This oblong imposter from New Zealand’s Yummy Fruit Company does not taste like lemonade. It does, however, taste like a regular apple that was accidentally dropped in lemonade. This may come as a disappointment since, with its bright yellow exterior and snappy branding, you’d expect the Lemonade Apple to send you into a citrusy vortex of cockeyed hysterics, forcing your brain to cope with a contradiction of fruity discord that leaves you penniless and naked on a street corner begging pedestrians to slap you back into what you once considered reality. However, maybe we don’t need such extremities in these troubled times. Great for gift bags! [SNACK?]
- 100 Bouncy Balls: They're not even in a container--they simply bounce out and all over the floor. Clean up on aisle seven? (x2)
- Bojobo Dolls: Made from seeds and coconut fiber, these are used in Buddhist prayers. You determine your wish based on how you position the arms and legs.
- Yellow Wig: The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long?
- Moustache-inator: When you fire this gun, it gives the target a moustache. What loser would think of an invention like this?
- Sports Ball: Great to throw and or bounce or...shoot? (This one is a baseball.)
- Toy Car: A small, RC car! Race them around!
- Michael's Special Stuff: Refreshing, blue, performance enhan- ...this is just water, isn't it. [DRINK]
- Plastic Light Sword: A shitty knockoff lightsaber toy. They didn't even bother making the flashlight part look like anything but a regular flashlight.
- Instant Fruit-Flavored Gelatin: Instant fruit-flavored gelatin mix. Just add hot water, stir, and set in the fridge. You can even use cookie cutters to make fun shapes*! *Cookie cutters not included.
- Framed Coins: A set of fourteen coins, assumed to be part of a collection! Also makes for a fun investment!
- Bon Appetit: A box of ten brand new multicolored dams. If you want to get ecstatic, use a prophylactic!
- Playstation 4: Contains Pac-Man, The Golf Club Two, Overcooked, and…Mario Kart? What?
- Gamer Fuel: It’s.... a salt shaker? Full of salt?
- Canadian Flag: O, Canada....
- Emperor's Thong: Designed solely for those in control of their buttocks. For better or
worse, it's unisexual.
- Ukulele: A small ukulele with flowers printed on the body. It has a pretty good sound, if you've got an ear for that!
- GameChild Plus: A small handheld gaming system with ten available games and an ever-dwindling battery life.